The Confessions Of Lexie Grey
by seriously em
Summary: No one really know me. They say I’m smart, that I am a pretty okay intern. Most people just see me as the sister of Meredith Grey though. No one really knows me. If they did they wouldn’t say I’m like her [Oneshot]


**A/N;** So I was planning on writing for Never, Never but after watching the new episode I could not get this out of my head.

This is just a one-shot because it kind of needed to be written. I hope you like it…

**The confessions of Lexie Grey**

**Summary:** No one really know me. They say I'm smart, that I am a pretty okay intern. Most people just see me as the sister of Meredith Grey though. No one really knows me. If they did they wouldn't say I'm like her…

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Greys nor the characters. Lyrics are from the song Cry by Rihanna so I don't own that either.

--

_I__'m not the type to get my heart broken  
I'm not the type to get upset and cry _

If you were to see me at work you would give me a glance and smile because there goes Meredith Grey's half sister. And I wouldn't blame you for it either, I may even have done the same thing in your shoes. Or no I wouldn't, I would look one extra time and maybe try and catch that look I know exists in my eyes. The one that never truly goes away no matter how much you try. I friend of mine once said it was the crack in my wall of defense, the one thing tipping people off that I was not all that meets the eye.

"Lexie" I looked up from the chart in my hand. I expected to see Christina, the woman who makes a living bossing me around. Of course it wasn't here though, she never cares to use my name.

"Alex" I smiled and felt my body tense up. I hadn't seen him since last night when he took me home…when he…I don't even want to think about it.

"Do you want to talk?" he asked. He used that nice and sensitive tone that he never seemed to show when other people were around.

"I'm fine" I replied, the same reply I had in me for so long now. It was quicker and easier to use then anything else including the truth.

"You're not fine" Alex grabbed my arm and pulled me with him towards a closet. Now I know what goes on at this hospital, closets are kind of famous. It really wouldn't surprise me if one day people would come here just to see our closets and what used to go on inside them.

"Will you stop this and let me do my job…" he closed the door behind me without so much as a nod to show he had heard me. "I do not need to talk and definitely not to you, okay?"

"So you're just fine?" he raised an eyebrow to show he was not believing me.

"Yes" I even smiled and nodded. He did however not seem to believe me so I continued. "I am fine. It was a one time thing, no big deal."

"You knew his drink" Alex stated.

"So."

"So that proves he has done this quite a while, you have done this game quite a while too" Alex said. "You don't need to do this."

"No I don't" I spun around on my heel and barged out of the closet. Of course me storming off never works like it does in the movies because it took me less then a second to run straight into the last person I wanted to see.

_My mind is gone  
I'm spinnin 'round  
And deep inside my tears i'll drown  
I'm losin' grip, what's happenin?  
I stray from love,   
This is how I feel_

"Lexie, watch where you're going" Meredith's voice was tried but still very much angry as we both fell to our knees to pick up the mess of charts from the floor.

"I'm sorry I wasn't thinking I…" I was rambling again and I hated it. I hated how she would always give me those looks, how she acted like I was the lucky one.

"You never think" Meredith sighed as she stood up again, all the charts in her hands.

"Right" I was too sick of this to try and act all sweet again. I had tried for so long but it was over now. How could she not see it? How could she not see that everything I did was just a charade? "Just go on and hate me. I'll be way other there where you can't be near me" I walked past her without saying anything else and I didn't stop until I passed through the doors of the free clinic.

"Lexie" Meredith followed me and cut me off before I even reached the first bed. "What is up with you today?"

"Nothing. Nothing is up okay" I tried to keep my voice calm. "And if something were to be up it's not your problem, you said it yourself we're not sisters. We did not grow up with the same dad…you wouldn't understand."

"You have problems with dad?" this time she actually sounded concerned.

"Nothing I can't handle" I replied simply and grabbed one of the charts from the disk beside me. I skimmed through it and realized it was something I could handle. "Now if you excuse me I have a patient" I walked past my sister towards curtain 4.

"Lexie…" this time her call was more of a plea but she didn't follow me. Had she followed I might actually have told her, but she didn't.

_  
__I should've never let you hold me baby  
Maybe why I'm sad to see us apart_

I got through the day with ease after that. Meredith kept her distance but I could still feel her eyes on me every time she went to see Christina. I guess I should be happy that looks can't kill.

I thought I could get a night on my own when I entered Joe's a few hours later. Unfortunately that was not the case at all. I had just taken a seat at the bar when Alex sat down next to me.

"We really have to stop meeting like this" he joked as Joe placed a beer in front of him.

"You're the one stalking me" I replied and took a sip of my own beer.

"I'm not stalking you" he replied. "I'm worried about you."

"How many times do I need to tell you I'm f…"

"Fine" he finished my sentence. "Meredith may not see it but I do. You're not fine."

That's when I looked up at him, his eyes were on me and I saw it. It was in his eyes and it all just fell into place. He knew. He really did know. It was in his eyes like it was in mine.

"Who was it for you?" I didn't expect for him to answer after me being so short to him all day but he did.

"My father" he said.

"Fathers' suck" I took another sip of my beer.

"How long has Thatcher been drinking?" Alex asked.

"Since my mum died. He never really got over it and the Meredith situation didn't exactly help either" I answered.

"So now that I know how about you let me be your friend?" he suggested. "Friends are good you know."

"Meredith would kill me" I sighed. "She is already mad at me for trying to steal her friends, if I really did it she would never talk to me again."

"Aw come on, I'm a good friend" Alex smiled and bumped his shoulder lightly into mine to make me smile. "I am good at keeping secrets, I am very good to talk to and if you want away from Thatcher I won't kick you out of my bed."

"Is that so?" I couldn't help but laugh before I drowned the last of my beer. "That sounds like a pretty good friend."

"Only the best" he held out his hand on the disk for me.

"Thanks" I placed my hand over his and gave him a smile. "Friends…"

"Friends" he nodded and squeezed my hand.

You may not know me much better now. You may still just give me a smile as you pass me in the corridors of Seattle Grace Hospital. Maybe you get me better now, maybe you will be the one person to stop and ask me how I feel, even if all you get is a fine. Or maybe you are one of the people like me, the ones with that small crack in our eyes to show that we feel the same. That the pain inside of you is slowly filling up and you find yourself screaming in silence at the people who refuse to listen.

I don't ask for the world. All I want is something to show that I fit in…

And I've got all the symptons  
Of a girl with a broken heart  
But no matter what you'll never see me cry 

--

**A/N;** there you go, some more ramblings from me, lol. But I do hope you liked it. If someone had told me at the beginning of this season that I would be writing a Lexie fic I would call them crazy. But after the last episode I couldn't help myself.

Reviews are very welcome of course. _  
_


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